Some relationships start strong. Like a vine that blooms with beauty early on, they seem like the perfect fit. But over time, if left unchecked, they can grow in ways you didn’t expect. What started well ends up choking out what matters most. Not every relationship is meant to go with you where you’re headed. Growth demands discernment. And sometimes, it demands pruning.
Letting go means to come to the realization
that some people are a part of your history,
but not a part of your destiny.
— Steve Maraboli
Watch "Devilish Vines" on the Educators Among Us Podcast
My dad once planted a wisteria vine in our backyard with the best intentions.
The first few years it produced beautiful purple flowers, but eventually it grew out of control, invasively spreading its roots and choking out trees and plants.
It was exhausting trying to dig up those devilish vines to end their tyranny.
Some people are like that, starting off as collegial but eventually revealing a heart with more disruptive intentions and dangerous gaps in their core values.
I will not allow anyone to walk
in my mind with dirty feet
–Mahatma Gandhi
Regardless of their substantial qualifications and historical connections, it is both unwise and unethical to permit some people to have unchecked influence. This may feel counterintuitive or even harsh, but understanding and respecting this relational principle is crucial to our cause, our culture, and our credibility.
Why do we continue to allow people to walk in our minds with such dirty feet? Discernment in relationships requires us to exercise grace with accountability.
Do not be deceived:
Bad company ruins good morals.
— 1 Corinthians 15:33
Individuals and organizations should be understood differently in this regard.
The peacemakers and merciful have a place of honor by seeking reconciliation.
Some people come into our lives as opportunities for ministry and guidance. Leaders, however, have a moral obligation to make difficult people decisions with courage and clarity, assessing attitude and results to regroup for next year.
We try to make the best decisions available and then press on in the journey.
Purposely prune with prudence. Choose those who influence your heart and mind—along with those you influence.
Listen to "Devilish Vines" on the Educators Among Us Podcast
